President Bola Tinubu’s government has something in common with the Nigerian music industry - both cater for Nigerians across party lines! That was the message of the President of the Senate, Godswill Akpabio to Davido, the Afrobeat Star, who paid him a courtesy visit on May 19, 2024. Akpabio told the music star, whose real name is David Adedeji Adeleke: "For me and for the government of President Bola Ahmed Tinubu, its an inclusive administration, and you must have noticed in my various outings, we move as one, across party lines. "Even though your administration is a PDP one but we work across party lines for the interest of Nigeria. The only major thing that is common to all of us is the interest of this country and it is a country that has given you so much love”. While advising Davido to avoid being dragged into politics, he promised that the lawmakers will do everything possible to support the talent industry. "Please do your best to continue to maintain the high e...
My dogs had an emergency meeting, yesterday. All five of them, with Spike, the alfa male, presiding. I had no inkling of the planned meeting, prior. But the unusual silence in the compound made me alert and suspicious. From my room, the moment I sighted them in an unusual posture, I knew something was amiss.
As I tiptoed near the conclave, I overheard one of them, a spritely male puppy, suggesting a revolt. “If they can't increase our daily rations, we all must stop barking,” he said. Bloody idiot from a polygamous cage! I quickly thought of calling the police for them. But I remembered that with the way things are in this ‘kwantery’ now, the complainant might easily become the accused!
My first fear: the police might have asked me to explain how I have been able to feed five dogs in this Tinubu’s economy, when they can't keep spy dogs anymore. Even the EFCC may have suspected that Yahaya Bello gave me some of the billions he has been accused of siphoning. Chai!
As I was struggling within, Spike, with his ear like Tinubu’s cap, cut into my thoughts with a timely caution: “Calm down, kiddo”, he said. “Oga has been trying. The reduced ration is not his fault. I heard he even pays more for our feeding. But at the eateries, where they get most of our foods, the diners no longer leave remnants.”
Well, the feeding issue was eventually resolved. Spike and Kelly, the elderly wife, promised to eat less, thenceforth. Spike even added that he only eats at all, sometimes, because he found out that a patient dog no longer gets any bone. “These days, no bone comes from the eateries. Last week, a patient dog died of hunger, while waiting for the fattest bone”, he submitted.
It was Penny, the younger wife, who raised the most controversial topic. “Even if we don't eat much anymore, must we also be deprived of other sources of relieving tension? Didn't they say once that Nigerians were the happiest people on earth? How can we be happy when we are daily tensed and traumatised? We should, at least, have a television set with a Dstv decoder in our kennel. We need to watch the World Cup in June, to take our minds off this hardship!” As soon as she finished, a general murmur descended in apparent agreement.
I had nothing against them watching the World Cup. But, Multichoice, the South African owners of Dstv and Gotv, had just a few days earlier, raised subscription rates beyond common sense. Dstv premium is now N37,000, from N29,500. Padi, the least bouquet, is now N3,600, from N2,950. Xtraview is now N5,000, from N4,000. Gotv Supa has moved from 12,500 to 15,700. The Smallie of N1,300 is now N1,575. So, in exasperation, I entered my room, pulled the Dstv decoder from its cable and flung it at the dogs!
Startled, they all sprang to their paws, shouting in all directions: “Who? Who? Who?” I replied: “Me! Me! Me! Me, me, me! Since Multichoice and all of you do not want me to watch the satellite networks anymore, you can have it. I’m going back to NTA (Nigerian Television Authority) and AKBC (Akwa Ibom Broadcasting Corporation).”
Only our own will give us peace. We’ve walked this path before. The South Africans once held us by the jugular, when the mobile phones arrived Nigeria. They billed us with Mtn and Econet till angels wept. We paid through our pocket holes, till our take home pays couldn't take us home. Then, our own Mike Adenuga came with his Glo. Boom! Call charges suddenly came down overnight.
Truth be told, I grew up with those “old time” stations that have refused to change. In days of yore, all we needed was an external antenna tied to a bamboo pole. Once the TV came on, one of us would be assigned to control its visibility. “Turn it to the right. Oh no, to the left a bit. No, no no, go back to the centre of the middle. Ah, it has scattered completely. Turn it to the backward centre of the front middle of the right hand of the left”.
The fellow would be condemned to stay out there for the next 30 minutes. Yet, just when you lost hope, luck smiled at us and the vision blinked clearer for a minute. Then, an NTA or AKBC station would flicker at the edge. And, it would dance sideways like a newborn calf trying to steady on its feet. But we managed to hear the news, somehow. Folks, we might just be going back there...Welcome to the past!
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